Acrostics for Erie

You'll notice that we've drifted from the fifteenth century. Be reassured that the last word on late medieval hospitals has not yet appeared on these pages. But for now, a brief step into the twenty-first.

I heard John Hegley, my favorite poet, performing in London the other day. Not only is he funny to watch and listen to, but he's good for my development of understatment, a necessary skill for living in the UK. During one of his previous shows, which I attended with my mother in Milton Keenes, he inspired these acrostics, which my fabulously talented mother wrote about her home town, Erie, Pennsylvania:

Elasticized raingear inflates egos.
Expect rain in eternity.
Excavate radiant iridescent emeralds.
Eliminate racial intolerance everywhere.
Exude radiance; infuse energy.
Elvis remains icon extraordinaire.
Extremist religion insults existence.
Eat raisins if expecting.
Eggs rationed in eighths.
Extra rations induce energy.
External reality internalizes everything.
Excessive ripening incubates excretion.
Eradicate repulsive industrial epicenters.
Erase reprehensible inbound e-mails.
Exit research institutions exhumed.
Erotic ritual involves elves.
Excitable rotund implants explode.
Eggy recipes inspire epicures.
Exhibitionist removes incriminating evidence.
Evil restaurateur invents escargot.